7 Tips to promote perseverance in school

January 26, 2022 | Par Brigitte Carrier

High-level athletes understand that without failure, there is no podium. They need to train for many hours every day, surround themselves with a strong support team, visualize victory, control other factors in their life (e.g., sleep, diet, outings, negative comments on social media), and above all, they must NEVER GIVE UP.

What can be both an obstacle and a springboard? Failure!

Never give up

High-level athletes understand that without failure, there is no podium. They need to train for many hours every day, surround themselves with a strong support team, visualize victory, control other factors in their life (e.g., sleep, diet, outings, negative comments on social media), and above all, they must NEVER GIVE UP.

Picking yourself up after a failure

The common phrase, “picking yourself back up,” rings true because failure is just like a fall and comes with a full range of emotions, from disappointment to anger, doubt, shame, anxiety and low self-esteem. Will we have the courage to try again? If failure happens at school, we don’t have a choice.

Perseverance is king or Rome wasn’t built in a day

How can you support your child during these difficult moments? By encouraging them to persevere and reminding them that a defeat is a step in their growth, not a judgment of their worth. You don’t learn to ride a bike or beat your favourite video game on the first try. These so-called failures are an incentive to push on, because we are motivated by the fun and the pride of getting a little further each time.

Here are some tips for fostering perseverance:

• There was a TV commercial that ran in Québec years ago, where a woman repeated this mantra to herself: “You’re beautiful. You’re good. You’re great. You’re capable.” Encourage your child in the same way, reminding them of their strengths without denying their weaknesses, and by respecting their learning pace.

• Congratulate your child by highlighting hard work and progress, i.e., elements they can control, rather than their intelligence.

• Progress in stages, breaking down large projects or goals into smaller bites. Each mini success is an opportunity to celebrate. Little by little, the bird makes its nest.

• Help your child to understand the method behind their learning and to find solutions, which will also develop their independence. Does your little one need to move while learning new vocabulary? Do they need manipulatives to assimilate math concepts? What other approaches are there?

• Reflect on your own past. Do you have past trauma that may bias your analysis of the situation? Let your child express their feelings and doubts by listening without judgment or blame.

• Lead by example. Your child absorbs your every move. If they see you give up after a failure, they will too, convinced that there’s no point in persevering.

• Let your child make mistakes. In your efforts to look out for your child’s well-being or to move things along, are you inadvertently doing things for them? If so, they are missing opportunities to develop self-esteem, courage and autonomy, to learn to manage situations, to acquire a sense of responsibility and to understand the value of work. They are learning that whining or throwing tantrums gets them what they want. This can affect academic performance, behaviour, socialization, empathy and tolerance for failure, and has lifelong consequences.

Some powerful quotes

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill

"I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying!" - Michael Jordan

"I never lose. I either win or learn." - Nelson Mandela

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Sources :

• https://naitreetgrandir.com/fr/etape/5-8-ans/ecole/fiche.aspx?doc=apprendre-affronter-echecs

• https://www.symphonypartners.fr/echouer-puis-reussir-rebondir-apres-echec/

• https://etreparents.com/9-dangers-de-la-surprotection/

• https://argentaire.com/40-citations-celebres-pour-surmonter.html